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PostPosted: Wed Sep 14, 2005 3:00 pm 
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Zinfindel
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I like mine rare to medium lou, think you can manage that.

I propose a meeting on the 23rd of sept to plan the conference at the party headquarters in G

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PostPosted: Wed Sep 14, 2005 4:00 pm 
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Pint
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Can I wha?!? Of course I make great steak!! Jimmy's the expert though!!

D'ya know, its actually nice to get the male chauvinist creep treatment for a change! The "Lou's one of the boys" line is actually starting to worry me, cos I'm getting the crap beaten out of me every weekend!!! Easy target when I'm drunk! Which really isn't very fair considering I'd take any of you lot down if i was sober!! (Remember Beano?)

I would just like to make a point about yer choice of sponsors -

YORKIE - curing / treating PMS since 1986
Miller - Who holds the record for downing the most bottles of miller
through a beer bong without a break?
Stella Artois - It's got a girl's name for Christ's sake!
Steak - Cow's are female!!

Ye may try harder than that boys! Did ye know that everyone is female until a few weeks gestation when gender differentiation occurs? Uh huh!!
That's why boys have nipples! They develop before differentiation.

Go on, try again!!

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PostPosted: Wed Sep 14, 2005 4:50 pm 
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Zinfindel
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Should have known u wouldn't be able to cook steak, prob too heavy and bloody for u to handle
PMS ??? not with you there, must be 1 of those women things that I couldn't give a shite about

Stella Artois aka wife beater

and as for the Miller, that sounds like a challenge.
Ninger will vouch for my credintals when it comes to downing Miller (Pig&Porter Ninger, reckon by the last match there was more than a few bottles in me)

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PostPosted: Wed Sep 14, 2005 5:34 pm 
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Old Fart
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rules and regulations my left nut.
when push comes to shove the problem is easily solved:

John Actor is Inspector Monkfish, the tough, uncompromising cop, (Coming soon to the BBC in a brand new drama series). He shouts and points and tells women to put their knickers on and go and make him a cup of tea.

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say it once with feeling, "You! put your knickers on and make me a cup of tea!"

kelly robinson has spoken. it is a dead issue.

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PostPosted: Thu Sep 15, 2005 8:10 am 
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Pint
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Yes Ninger, with those looks, I can see how a woman just wouldn't be able to help herself when Inspector Monkfish calls the shots!!

And DJ I make an excellent steak, thank you very much!! I like it blue so I would imagine it would be a little too heavy and bloody for you to handle!!!!

I have to say I am still very drunk!

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PostPosted: Fri Sep 16, 2005 7:15 am 
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Snakebite
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Why is it so easy to become distracted by absolutely everything trivial, when ur meant to be doing an assignment! :x going mad


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 23, 2005 2:33 pm 
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Old Fart
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Things to make you feel like a man................

Love No. 13 btw



1, OPENING JARS - nnng, she's struggling. You take it from her hands, open
it effortlessly and pretend she loosened it for you. She didn't. Jars are
men's work.

2, CALLING SOMEONE 'SON' - Especially policeman but even saying it to kids
makes you the man.

3, DOING A PROPER SLIDE TACKLE - Beckham free kicks? Gay. A Stuart Pearce
tackle is the pinnacle of the game, simultaneously winning the ball and
crippling the man. Magic.

4, SHARPENING A PENCIL WITH A STANLEY KNIFE - Blunt, is it? Hand it here
love. No, I don't need a sharpener, you think I can't whittle.

5, GOING TO THE TIP - A manly act which combines driving, lifting and as
you thrillingly drop your rubbish into another huge pile of other rubbish.
noisy destruction = man.

6, DRINKING UP - Specifically, rising from the table, slinging your coat on
and downing two thirds of a pint in one fluid movement. Then nodding
towards the door, saying, "Let's go" and striding out while everyone else
struggles to catch up with you. God, you're hard.

7, HAVING A THIN BIT OF WOOD - in the shed, solely to stir paint with.

8, HAVING A SCAR - Ideally it'll be a facial knife wound, but even an iron
burn on the wrist is good. "Ooh, did it hurt". "Nah".

9, HAVING A HANGOVER AND THICK STUBBLE - When birds have been partying they
just whinge. You, on the other hand have physical evidence of your
hardness, sprouting from your face. "Big night?" Grrrrr, what does it look
like.

10, NODDING AT COPPERS - A moments eye contact is all it takes for you to
share the unspoken bond. "We've not seen eye to eye in the past", it says
"but someone's got to keep the little scrotes in line".

11, USING POWER TOOLS - slightly more powerful than you need or can safely
handle. Pneumatic drilling while smoking a fag? Superb.

12, KICKING A FOOTY AGAINST A GARAGE DOOR - Clang-g-g-g-g-g-! Stitch that
becks, I kick so hard I set off car alarms.

13, ARRIVING IN A PUB LATE... and everyone cheers you. It doesn't mean
you're popular, it just means your mates are pissed. However, the rest of
the pub doesn't know that.

14, NOT WATCHING YOUR WEIGHT - fat is a feminist issue, apparently.
Brilliant. Pass the pork scratchings.

15, CARVING THE ROAST - and saying "are you a leg or breast man" to the
blokes and "do you want stuffing" to the women. Congratulations, you are
now your dad.

16, WINKING - turns women to putty. Doesn't it?

17, TEST SWINGING HAMMERS - ideally, B&Q would have little changing rooms
with mirrors so you could see how rugged you look with any DIY item. Until
then, we'll make do with the aisles.

18, TAKING OUT £200 FROM A CASHPOINT - okay, so its for paying the plumber
later but with that much cash you feel like a mafia don. The only thing
better is peeling notes off the roll later.

19, PHONE CALLS THAT LAST LESS THAN A MINUTE - unlike birds, we get
straight to the point. "alright? Yep. Drink? Red lion? George, it is then.
Seven. See ya."

20, PARALLEL PARKING - bosh, straight in. first time. Can Schumacher do
that? No, because his cars got no reverse gear which, technically, makes
you the worlds best driver.

21, HAVING EARNED THAT PINT - Since the dawn of time, men have toiled in
the fields in blistering heat. Why? So, when it's over we can stand there
in silence, surveying our work with one hand resting on the beer gut while
the other nurses a foaming jug of ale. Aaaah.

22, HAVING SOMETHING PROPERLY WRONG WITH YOU - especially if you didn't
make a fuss. "Why was I off, nothing much, just a brain haemorrhage".

23, KNOWING WHICH SCREWDRIVER IS WHICH - "a Phillips? For that? Are you
mad,bint?"

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PostPosted: Fri Sep 23, 2005 2:50 pm 
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Old Fart
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Location: Ireland!!!
hey lad, shouldnt they go in the Man Of Steel Rules???

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PostPosted: Fri Sep 23, 2005 4:53 pm 
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Zinfindel
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Prob should Jimmy, but since ninger is starting to age I think he should be left off with that mistake :P

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PostPosted: Fri Sep 23, 2005 4:55 pm 
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Zinfindel
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Is it wrong to make animals watch human porn :?:

Is it wrong for humans to get of on animal porn :?:

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PostPosted: Tue Dec 06, 2005 12:49 pm 
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Old Fart
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WTF. I had a fairly quiet weekend, onyl went for a few beers on saturday night, but i am bloody wrecked. What teh hell is that about??

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PostPosted: Tue Dec 06, 2005 2:07 pm 
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Zinfindel
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Was just tryinmg to get some debate going on the board

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PostPosted: Tue Dec 06, 2005 2:17 pm 
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Old Fart
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Location: Ireland!!!
Actually DJ, the "Whats that about" was about why the hell am i so tired!! But thanks for the first bit of non-Jimmy posting this week!!

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PostPosted: Tue Dec 06, 2005 2:21 pm 
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Zinfindel
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Not a bother, so are you coming to Limerick next friday night

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PostPosted: Tue Dec 06, 2005 2:22 pm 
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Location: Ireland!!!
Next friday? Will do mon frair!!

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