the lads

> A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while
> he's
> drinking the monkey jumps all around he place. The monkey grabs some
> olives
> off the bar and eats them, then grabs some sliced limes and eats them,
> then
> jumps onto the pool table, grabs one of the billiard balls, sticks it in
> his
> mouth, and to everyone's amazement, somehow swallows it whole.
>
> The bartender screams at the guy, "Did you see what your monkey just
did?"
> The guy says "No, what?"
> "He just ate the cue ball off my pool table---whole!"
> "Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy, "He eats everything in
> sight, the little b@stard. Sorry. I'll pay for the cue ball and stuff".
> He finishes his drink, pays his bill, pays for the stuff the monkey ate,
> then leaves.
>
> Two weeks later he's in the bar again, and has his monkey with him. He
> orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again.
> While the man is finishing his drink, the monkey finds a cherry on the
> bar.
> He grabs it, sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it.
> The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey did now?" he
> asks.
> " No, what?" replied the guy. "Well, he stuck a cherry up his butt,
pulled
> it out, and ate it!" said the bartender.
>
> "Yeah, that doesn't surprise me", replied the guy. "He still eats
> everything
> in sight, but ever since the cue ball incident, he measures everything
> first.

_________________
I'm not even supposed to be here today.