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Man Of Steel Rules
http://www.faolain.net/ladsinoz/viewtopic.php?f=5&t=142
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Author:  jimmy [ Sat Feb 19, 2005 11:12 pm ]
Post subject:  Man Of Steel Rules

You must grow a handle bar tasche, that must at least reach you jaw line
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You must wear a white "Die Hard" vest at least four times a week, one of those times to be while at a major social event
More of this => Image less of this => Image

You must never use the words "Fuscia", "Avocado" or "Lilac" when refering to clothing color.

Your diet should consist of Meat and Meat By-Products. Potatoes are acceptable, but only as a side to Steak, or Prime Beef

You must own at least one Journey album.

A fully stocked workshop is an absolute essential

Burn marks must be scattered accross atleast two pairs of jeans from an unfortunate welding accident.

You must refer to your significant other as your "Old Lady"

All injuries to self must be met with a stern look at the injury and a small growl at the pain, then back to welding.

The consumption of "Girlie Drinks" is strictly prohibited, under pain of arch welding your small lads to a large piece of steel (grrrrrr)

Conversations may touch on these subjects: sports, engines, big rigs, steel, beer, poofs (, the beating of). The following subjects must never be talked about: Coordination of clothing, bathroom habits, Sex and the City, fluffy rabbits.

All cigarettes and cigars must be lit off the end or a live welding rod or oxyacetalene torch. Cigarettes must be of the self rolled variety

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please feel free to add to this list

Author:  Lemmiwinks [ Mon Feb 21, 2005 10:06 am ]
Post subject: 

men of iron love frosty weather, tis fierce because they can get up at 6 in the morning and go,salting the roads before the council get there.

Men of iron only go travelling once a year to the all irelands, they dont want to but tis all about the craic. and they dont ever pack. If they have to, they'll bring their gaa training bag, and they only ever carry 1 clean white vest in it.

men of iron dont do foreplay.

Author:  Ninger [ Mon Feb 21, 2005 6:15 pm ]
Post subject: 

kelly robinson has spoken.

it is a dead issue.

Author:  jimmy [ Tue Feb 22, 2005 7:13 am ]
Post subject: 

Men Of Steel do not put up with nagging from women (jo ryan you have been warned, as have all women)

Author:  joanne [ Tue Feb 22, 2005 1:42 pm ]
Post subject:  MEN

did you delete my last post jim, the dirt of it! :P u have to at least let us defend ourselves. just because i'm right.

Author:  Ninger [ Tue Feb 22, 2005 1:46 pm ]
Post subject: 

to quote the ultimate man of steel, inspector monkfish from the fast show, you put your knickers on and make me a cup of tea :lol:

Author:  jo [ Wed Feb 23, 2005 5:04 am ]
Post subject:  well

I actually like that one :lol:

Author:  jimmy [ Sun Feb 27, 2005 8:10 am ]
Post subject: 

    Men Of Steel recognise that short-cuts will be harder than the normal way; if it was easier then it would just be the way.

    Men of Steel use Duct-tape and cable ties for just about everything: holding sandwiches together, sealing water pipes, sexual experimentation

Image

Author:  jimmy [ Thu Mar 10, 2005 2:09 am ]
Post subject: 

Men of Steel go first time

Men of Steel jump 124 metres, no bother lad

Men Of Steel brave a serious hangover and go white-water rafting with the most mental guide around (Go on the Chief!!)

Author:  beano [ Sat Mar 19, 2005 7:07 am ]
Post subject: 

By the way they're all my cable ties, the boy's are lacking a bit behind.....

Author:  Ninger [ Mon Mar 21, 2005 1:37 pm ]
Post subject: 

i like to keep it old skool wit sum double hard green and yellow striped insulating tape....

Author:  jimmy [ Sat Apr 30, 2005 4:53 am ]
Post subject: 

it has come to my attention that some people (women mainly) do not seem to appreciate Men Of Steel.

i am truly baffled as to why this is the case, surely the the attraction to the early 90's bullshit sensitive man is gone?

Author:  Ninger [ Mon Oct 10, 2005 3:50 pm ]
Post subject: 

Things to make you feel like a man................

Love No. 13 btw



1, OPENING JARS - nnng, she's struggling. You take it from her hands, open
it effortlessly and pretend she loosened it for you. She didn't. Jars are
men's work.

2, CALLING SOMEONE 'SON' - Especially policeman but even saying it to kids
makes you the man.

3, DOING A PROPER SLIDE TACKLE - Beckham free kicks? Gay. A Stuart Pearce
tackle is the pinnacle of the game, simultaneously winning the ball and
crippling the man. Magic.

4, SHARPENING A PENCIL WITH A STANLEY KNIFE - Blunt, is it? Hand it here
love. No, I don't need a sharpener, you think I can't whittle.

5, GOING TO THE TIP - A manly act which combines driving, lifting and as
you thrillingly drop your rubbish into another huge pile of other rubbish.
noisy destruction = man.

6, DRINKING UP - Specifically, rising from the table, slinging your coat on
and downing two thirds of a pint in one fluid movement. Then nodding
towards the door, saying, "Let's go" and striding out while everyone else
struggles to catch up with you. God, you're hard.

7, HAVING A THIN BIT OF WOOD - in the shed, solely to stir paint with.

8, HAVING A SCAR - Ideally it'll be a facial knife wound, but even an iron
burn on the wrist is good. "Ooh, did it hurt". "Nah".

9, HAVING A HANGOVER AND THICK STUBBLE - When birds have been partying they
just whinge. You, on the other hand have physical evidence of your
hardness, sprouting from your face. "Big night?" Grrrrr, what does it look
like.

10, NODDING AT COPPERS - A moments eye contact is all it takes for you to
share the unspoken bond. "We've not seen eye to eye in the past", it says
"but someone's got to keep the little scrotes in line".

11, USING POWER TOOLS - slightly more powerful than you need or can safely
handle. Pneumatic drilling while smoking a fag? Superb.

12, KICKING A FOOTY AGAINST A GARAGE DOOR - Clang-g-g-g-g-g-! Stitch that
becks, I kick so hard I set off car alarms.

13, ARRIVING IN A PUB LATE... and everyone cheers you. It doesn't mean
you're popular, it just means your mates are pissed. However, the rest of
the pub doesn't know that.

14, NOT WATCHING YOUR WEIGHT - fat is a feminist issue, apparently.
Brilliant. Pass the pork scratchings.

15, CARVING THE ROAST - and saying "are you a leg or breast man" to the
blokes and "do you want stuffing" to the women. Congratulations, you are
now your dad.

16, WINKING - turns women to putty. Doesn't it?

17, TEST SWINGING HAMMERS - ideally, B&Q would have little changing rooms
with mirrors so you could see how rugged you look with any DIY item. Until
then, we'll make do with the aisles.

18, TAKING OUT £200 FROM A CASHPOINT - okay, so its for paying the plumber
later but with that much cash you feel like a mafia don. The only thing
better is peeling notes off the roll later.

19, PHONE CALLS THAT LAST LESS THAN A MINUTE - unlike birds, we get
straight to the point. "alright? Yep. Drink? Red lion? George, it is then.
Seven. See ya."

20, PARALLEL PARKING - bosh, straight in. first time. Can Schumacher do
that? No, because his cars got no reverse gear which, technically, makes
you the worlds best driver.

21, HAVING EARNED THAT PINT - Since the dawn of time, men have toiled in
the fields in blistering heat. Why? So, when it's over we can stand there
in silence, surveying our work with one hand resting on the beer gut while
the other nurses a foaming jug of ale. Aaaah.

22, HAVING SOMETHING PROPERLY WRONG WITH YOU - especially if you didn't
make a fuss. "Why was I off, nothing much, just a brain haemorrhage".

23, KNOWING WHICH SCREWDRIVER IS WHICH - "a Phillips? For that? Are you
mad,bint?"

Author:  Ninger [ Mon Oct 10, 2005 3:51 pm ]
Post subject: 

men of steel play soccer matches on a sunday morning while being 14 times over the legal limit to drive and without breakfast

Author:  lou [ Tue Oct 11, 2005 4:11 pm ]
Post subject: 

No Ninger, that's just you!! :twisted:

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